你该减肥了

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1、口香糖

飞机起飞后，一位空中小姐给旅客发口香糖。“你太客气了，这口香糖干什么用？”一位第一次乘飞机的旅客问。空姐：“为了使你的耳朵不嗡嗡作响，先生。”飞机着陆后，这位先生对空中小姐说：“这口香糖真管事！现在你能帮我把它从耳朵里取出来吗？”

2、撞哪儿

急诊室里，医生问躺在担架上伤痕累累的我：“怎么伤成这样？”我说：“刚才开车，路上有个美女经过，我就回头偷看了几眼……”医生讪笑：“结果撞哪儿了？”我说：“没撞哪儿，是被坐副驾驶的老婆发现了打成这样的。”

3、关在里面

妻子讨债的下场!妻子外出讨债，几个月后却空手而归。老公骂道:“你真无能!”妻子不服地说:“我虽然没有要到钱，但老板的孩子被我当了人质!”老公大喜，问道:“人呢?”妻子一拍肚子，说:“关在里面了!”

4、老公出轨

今天和一个女孩聊天，聊了半天，感觉十分投缘，就弱弱的问了句她：“在家是否会帮父母做菜，例如，烧豆腐，或者西红柿炒鸡蛋？没想到等了半天后，等到她的回答是：“煮泡面！”当时给我雷的当时就恍惚了，回道：“泡面也算道菜的话，那烧开水能算是会做汤了么！”

5、床塌了

和老婆出去旅游，在网上订了一间大床房，到了酒店开好房间进门后发现床塌了。果断找前台去说：“你们房间的床塌了。”前台：“先生，这需要照价赔偿的。”我生气地说：“我还没上床呢，刚进入房间，不信你调监控。”这时前台眼珠子都瞪圆了：“你怎么知道我们房间里面装监控了？”我：“……”

6、凌晨两点

凌晨两点的夜里，有个空姐躲在角落里马上要被吓哭了。男人壮了壮胆，故作镇定地说：“有我在，你不要怕！”空姐听完这话以后，立马就嚎啕大哭了起来。男人就这样静静地看着她，过了一会儿，空姐缓缓站起身，一边用手背抹去脸上的泪，一边冲着男人说道：“要是你还不从女厕所出去，我就喊人了！”

7、你该减肥了

一女子请道士驱鬼，说道，“大师！最近实在是奇怪，先是上楼梯，那木头楼梯竟然就硬生生粉碎了，后来我又坐到椅子上，椅子竟然也折了！最恐怖的是，晚上睡觉的时候，床竟然也塌了！请大师救救我！我好害怕！”道士听罢，掏出桃木剑，舞动一通，剑指女子，大喝：“你该减肥了！”

Gregorytit

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